# What to Talk About at a Baby Shower When You Barely Know Anyone

At a shower where you only know the guest of honor, your easiest opener is the connection you share: "How do you know Emma?" Then ask about the other guest's own life, offer to help the host, and use the games and gifts as built-in topics. Avoid questions about birth plans, bodies, weight, and "when are you having kids?".

By the Speaking Coach team at Sodhera Intelligence. Updated 2026-10-22. Source: https://www.orecci.com/speaking-coach/small-talk/baby-shower-small-talk/

## Why showers feel tricky

At a baby shower or bridal shower, the guest of honor is usually busy: opening gifts, greeting people, being the centre of attention. The guests are often a mix of groups who don't overlap: family, school friends, work friends, neighbors, the partner's family. You might know one person in the room, and she's unavailable.

The good news: everyone there has one thing in common, the guest of honor, and showers come with built-in activities that give you things to talk about.

## The opener that always works

> "Hi, I'm Lena. How do you know Emma?"

It's simple, everyone has an answer, and it often leads to a story ("We met in a terrible first-year flat share"). Then share your own connection: "I sit next to her at work. She's the reason I survived my first year there."

Follow-ups that keep it going:

- "How long have you known her?"
- "Did you come far today?"
- "Have you met any of the others? I only know Emma."
- "Have you been to many showers? I'm not sure what the games involve."

That last one is a gift for nervous guests. Admitting you're a bit lost makes it easy for someone to help you, and people like being helpful.

## Topics that work at a shower

| Topic | Example line |
| --- | --- |
| The guest of honor | "She's going to be such a great mum. She's already so organised." |
| How you know each other | "Were you at her wedding too? I remember a cousin who did a speech." |
| The decorations or food | "These cupcakes are amazing. Do you know who made them?" |
| The gifts | "Did you go off the registry or freestyle?" |
| The games | "I'm hopeless at these. Want to team up?" |
| Your own life | "What do you do when you're not at baby showers?" |
| Shared plans | "Are you going to the wedding in June too?" |

At a bridal shower, swap in wedding topics: "Are you in the wedding party?", "Have you seen the venue?", "How did they meet? I've only heard her version."

## Questions to avoid

Showers bring up topics that can be painful for some guests in ways you can't see.

| Avoid | Why |
| --- | --- |
| "Do you have kids?" or "When are you having kids?" | Some guests may be struggling with fertility, loss or a choice they don't want to explain |
| Anything about the mother's weight or body | Personal and often unwelcome |
| Birth horror stories | Not what an expectant parent wants to hear |
| "Is it planned?" | Intrusive |
| Comments on names they've chosen | They may be sensitive about it |
| Asking a single guest about their love life | Can feel like pressure, especially at bridal showers |

If kids come up naturally ("My two are with their dad today"), follow the other person's lead. Just don't be the one to ask.

## Joining a group

Many guests will already be in small groups. To join one:

1. **Stand at the edge** with a drink or plate, and listen for a moment.
2. **Catch a gap** and add to the topic: "Sorry, I couldn't help overhearing, did you say you went to school with Emma? Was she always this organised?"
3. **Introduce yourself** once you're in.

The [joining a group conversation guide](/speaking-coach/small-talk/how-to-join-a-group-conversation/) has more on reading the moment. If it's a big shower, look for other people standing alone. They're usually relieved when someone comes over.

## Helping the host

Offering to help is one of the best ways to get comfortable when you know no one:

> "Can I do anything to help? I'm happy to refill drinks or take photos."

It gives you a job, a reason to talk to people ("Can I get you a top-up?"), and the host will be grateful. Taking photos during gift opening is particularly useful, and the guest of honor often loves having them later.

## Getting through the games

Shower games are often a bit silly, and that's the point. They're designed to get strangers talking. Lean into it:

- **Team up with whoever's next to you:** "Want to be partners? I'm terrible at guessing baby food."
- **Laugh at yourself:** if you guess the bump size wildly wrong, enjoy it.
- **Use the game as a topic afterwards:** "I can't believe you got the jar of sweets exactly right."

If you'd really rather not play, it's fine to say "I'll cheer you on from here" and help with photos instead.

## Talking to the guest of honor

You'll get a few minutes with them. Make it warm and short, since many people want their attention:

> "You look so happy. I'm really excited for you. Is there anything I can do in the first few weeks? I'm good at batch-cooking."

A specific offer of help is often the most valued thing a guest can give, especially a new parent.

## Mistakes to avoid

| Mistake | Why it hurts | Try instead |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Hovering near the guest of honor all afternoon | She has others to see | Talk to her briefly, then mingle |
| Staying on your phone | Signals you'd rather not be there | Offer to help or join a game |
| Asking about others' family plans | Can touch on painful topics | Let them bring it up |
| Sharing birth or wedding horror stories | Upsets the guest of honor | Keep stories positive |
| Leaving without saying goodbye | Feels abrupt | A quick thank you to the host and guest of honor |

## Practise beforehand if you're nervous

If walking into a room of strangers makes you anxious, rehearse your opener and two follow-up questions out loud beforehand so they come out easily. In the Speaking Coach app, the "Meet someone new" and "Work the room" scenes let you practise starting conversations with a partner who responds to what you say. The [party where you know no one guide](/speaking-coach/small-talk/party-where-you-know-no-one/) has more first lines for rooms full of strangers.

## Questions people ask

### What do you talk about at a baby shower?

How you each know the guest of honor, the food, gifts and games, and other guests' own lives: work, plans, where they live.

### What should you not say at a baby shower?

Avoid asking others about having kids, commenting on the mother's body, sharing birth horror stories, and asking whether the pregnancy was planned.

### How do I start a conversation with strangers at a shower?

"Hi, I'm Lena. How do you know Emma?" works every time, because everyone there shares that connection.

### What if I'm not into shower games?

Join a team and enjoy it lightly, or offer to take photos or help the host instead. Either way you'll have people to talk to.

### How long should I stay at a baby shower?

Usually through the main parts, like gifts and any games, unless the invitation says otherwise. Say goodbye to the host and guest of honor before you go.

---
Speaking Coach on the App Store: https://apps.apple.com/app/id6767124039
Speaking Coach on Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sodhera.speakingcoach