# What to Talk About With Your Hairdresser or Barber

Start with the haircut itself, then move to light topics like weekend plans, local places or what they enjoy about the job. Let them lead once you're in the chair, and if you'd rather be quiet, say so kindly at the start: "I'm going to switch off for a bit, if that's okay." Silence in the chair is normal and not rude.

By the Speaking Coach team at Sodhera Intelligence. Updated 2026-10-22. Source: https://www.orecci.com/speaking-coach/small-talk/haircut/

## The haircut conversation has three parts

A haircut has a natural shape, and the conversation follows it. Knowing the shape takes most of the pressure off.

| Part | Roughly when | What to talk about |
| --- | --- | --- |
| The consultation | First 2–5 minutes, before scissors | What you want, what you didn't like last time, how you style it |
| The cut | The middle 15–40 minutes | Light chat, or comfortable quiet |
| The finish | Last 5 minutes | The result, how to keep it looking like this, booking the next one |

The first and last parts are about your hair, and you should talk. The middle part is optional. Many people relax once they know that.

## Get the consultation right first

Clear words about your hair matter more than any small talk. A good consultation also warms you both up.

- **Say what you want in their terms:** "About an inch off, keep the length at the back," or "Short on the sides, a number two, longer on top."
- **Show a photo if you have one.** It saves a lot of guessing.
- **Mention what went wrong before:** "Last time the fringe ended up too short. I'd rather go a bit longer."
- **Tell them how you actually live with it:** "I don't use product, I just towel-dry it and go."

Ending the consultation with "Do you think that'll work with my hair?" invites their opinion. Stylists and barbers often like being asked, and it opens the conversation naturally.

## What to talk about during the cut

If you want to chat, these topics work well because they are light, easy to pick up and drop, and don't need eye contact.

- **Their work:** "How long have you been cutting hair?" or "What's the most requested cut right now?"
- **The shop or the area:** "Has this place been here long?" or "Any good lunch spots around here?"
- **Plans:** "Doing anything good this weekend?" Then answer it yourself when they ask back.
- **What's coming up for you:** "I've got a wedding on Saturday, so this is well timed." This gives them something to ask about.
- **Recommendations:** shows, food, places to visit. People enjoy giving advice.

Your stylist talks to people all day and is usually good at it. You don't have to carry the conversation. Answer with a little more than one word and ask one thing back now and then. That is enough.

### Topics to skip in the chair

Leave out politics, money troubles, strong complaints about other salons and anything you'd need to argue about. You're facing a mirror with someone holding scissors near your ears. Keep it easy.

## How to signal you'd rather sit quietly

Wanting quiet is common and most hairdressers and barbers are used to it. The trick is to say it early and warmly, so it doesn't feel like a rejection later.

**Lines to use at the start:**

> "I've had a long week, so I might just close my eyes and enjoy this, if that's okay."

> "I'm not much of a talker in the chair, but I'm really looking forward to this cut."

> "Do you mind if I catch up on a podcast while you work?"

**Lines to use mid-cut, when chat has started and you want to wind down:**

> "This is so relaxing, I might zone out for a bit."

> Shorter, friendly answers with no question back. Most people read this within a minute or two.

Avoid going suddenly silent after chatting, or putting in headphones mid-sentence. Say the line, smile, and then be quiet.

## What to say at the end

The finish is short but worth getting right.

1. **Look properly before you say it's fine.** Use the back mirror. "Could you take a little more off the left side?" is easier to say now than after you've paid.
2. **Thank them specifically:** "That's exactly what I wanted, the back looks great."
3. **Ask one maintenance question:** "How often should I come back to keep it this shape?"
4. **Book if you liked it:** "Can I book with you again in five weeks?" This is the clearest compliment you can give.

## Mistakes people make in the chair

| Mistake | Why it's awkward | Try instead |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Saying "just do whatever" | You may hate the result and feel unable to say so | Give two specifics and one "don't" |
| Nodding at a question about length you didn't follow | You end up with a cut you didn't choose | "Sorry, can you show me where that would be?" |
| Talking non-stop because silence feels rude | You both get tired | Let quiet happen; it's normal in the chair |
| Saying "it's fine" when it isn't | You leave unhappy and don't come back | Ask for a small fix before you get up |
| Going quiet suddenly with no explanation | It can feel like you're annoyed | One line that you'd like to relax |

## If you get nervous talking in the chair

Some people dread haircuts because of the chat, not the cut. If that's you, prepare two things before you go: one line about what you want, and one thing to say about your week. That covers almost every haircut conversation.

If you'd like to practice the rhythm of easy small talk out loud, try the [small talk drill](/speaking-coach/tools/small-talk-drill/), which gives you openers to answer and shows your pace and filler words. For a fuller back-and-forth, the Speaking Coach app has a partner who plays a stranger making small talk and follows up on what you say. For general topics that work anywhere, see [good small talk topics](/speaking-coach/small-talk/small-talk-topics/).

## Questions people ask

### Is it rude not to talk to your hairdresser?

No. Many clients prefer quiet, and stylists and barbers are used to it. It only feels rude if you go silent suddenly, so say early and kindly that you'd like to relax.

### Do hairdressers want you to talk?

It varies. Some enjoy chatting all day; others are happy to focus on the cut. Follow their lead: if they ask questions, answer with a bit of detail; if they work quietly, enjoy it.

### What should I say if I don't like my haircut?

Say it before you leave the chair, and be specific: "Could you take a bit more off the top? It feels heavy." A clear, calm request is easy for them to fix on the spot.

### How do I tell my barber exactly what I want?

Use numbers and landmarks: clipper grade, inches or centimetres, "above the ear", "keep the length at the back". A photo helps most. Then ask whether it suits your hair type.

### Can I wear headphones during a haircut?

Yes, but ask first and take them out for the consultation and the finish. "Do you mind if I listen to something while you work?" keeps it friendly.

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