# How to Respond to a Compliment Without Being Awkward

When someone compliments you, say "Thank you" and add one short sentence that keeps it going, such as a detail, a feeling or a question back: "Thanks! It was my grandmother's" or "Thank you, I was nervous about that one." Don't argue with it or play it down. To give a compliment that starts a conversation, praise a specific choice and follow it with a question.

By the Speaking Coach team at Sodhera Intelligence. Updated 2026-10-22. Source: https://www.orecci.com/speaking-coach/small-talk/how-to-take-a-compliment/

## Why compliments feel awkward

A compliment can feel like a small spotlight. Many people reflexively deflect ("Oh, this old thing?"), downplay ("It was nothing, really"), or immediately compliment back to even things out. The intention is modesty, but the effect is that the other person feels a little rejected. They offered something kind and you handed it back.

Accepting a compliment well is actually the polite option. It tells the other person their kindness landed.

## The simple formula

1. **Thank them.** "Thank you." Smile, and mean it.
2. **Add one short line,** if you like. A detail, a feeling, or a credit to others.
3. **Optionally, hand it back** with a question, so it becomes a conversation.

That's it. Two seconds for the thank-you, five seconds if you add something.

## Example replies by situation

These are examples to adapt to your own voice.

| Compliment | Deflecting reply | Better reply |
| --- | --- | --- |
| "I love your jacket." | "Oh, it was really cheap." | "Thanks! I found it at a vintage market in Leeds. Do you go to those?" |
| "Great presentation." | "Ugh, I messed up the middle." | "Thank you, I was nervous about it. Which part was most useful for you?" |
| "You're so good at cooking." | "It's just a simple recipe." | "Thank you! It's my dad's recipe. I'll send it to you." |
| "Congratulations on the promotion." | "I don't know how I got it." | "Thanks, I'm really excited. A bit scared too, honestly." |
| "You look great." | "No, I look tired." | "That's kind of you, thank you." |
| "Your kids are so polite." | "You should see them at home." | "Thank you, that's lovely to hear. We work on it!" |
| "Your English is really good." | "No, it's terrible." | "Thank you! I've been practising a lot. It's nice to hear." |

Notice none of the better replies argue. "That's kind of you, thank you" is enough for anything personal, especially about your appearance.

## Compliments at work

At work, compliments often come in public, like in a meeting, or about shared work. Two extra points:

- **Credit the team when it was a team effort:** "Thanks, Jo did most of the analysis, actually." Do this sincerely, not as a way to deflect. Say thanks first, then share.
- **Accept your own part:** if it was your work, don't hand all the credit away. "Thank you, I put a lot into that one" is confident without bragging.

If a manager praises you, "Thank you, that's good to hear. I enjoyed working on it" is a calm, professional reply. You can also use the moment: "Thanks. I'd love to do more work like that."

## When the compliment feels off

Not every compliment is comfortable. If one is backhanded ("You look great for your age!") or makes you uneasy, you don't have to play along.

| Type | Example | A calm reply |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Backhanded | "That's surprisingly good." | "Thanks," with a neutral tone, then move on |
| Too personal | A comment about your body at work | "I'd rather keep things professional," then change the topic |
| Flattery with an ask | "You're so good at this. Could you just do mine?" | "Thank you. I can't take it on this week, though." |

You can accept the kind part and ignore the rest. And you can always steer away; see [how to change the subject](/speaking-coach/small-talk/how-to-change-the-subject/).

## Giving compliments that start a conversation

The flip side: most compliments end a conversation. "Nice shoes." "Thanks." Silence. A compliment that opens one has two features:

1. **It's specific, and about a choice** (something they picked, did or made), not something they were born with.
2. **It ends with a question** that gives them a story to tell.

| Conversation-ender | Conversation-starter |
| --- | --- |
| "Nice bag." | "That bag is great. Where did you find it?" |
| "Good talk." | "I liked how you explained the budget with the pizza example. Did you come up with that?" |
| "Your garden's lovely." | "Your tomatoes are huge. What's the secret?" |
| "You're a good cook." | "This curry is amazing. Is it a family recipe?" |
| "Cool tattoo." | "I love the colours on that. Is there a story behind it?" |

Compliments on choices are easier to accept and almost always lead somewhere, because there's a story behind every choice. Compliments on looks or bodies, especially from strangers, can feel uncomfortable and usually end the chat.

## Mistakes to avoid

| Mistake | Why it falls flat | Try instead |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Arguing with the compliment | Feels like you rejected their kindness | "Thank you." |
| Instantly complimenting back | Feels like a transaction | Thank them; compliment later if it's genuine |
| A long explanation | Makes a small moment heavy | One short sentence at most |
| A joke that puts yourself down | Can make them feel awkward | Keep humour light, not self-critical |
| Generic compliments to others | Ends the chat | Specific, about a choice, plus a question |

## Practise until "thank you" feels natural

If deflecting is a habit, it helps to practise the new reply out loud until it feels normal in your mouth. Saying "Thank you, I'm really pleased with it" a few times sounds silly in private, and much easier in public afterwards. In the Speaking Coach app, the "Meet someone new" and "Chat at the coffee machine" scenes give you a partner to practise with, and the feedback quotes what you actually said, so you can catch a reflexive "Oh, it's nothing".

## Questions people ask

### What is the best way to respond to a compliment?

Say "Thank you" and, if you like, add one short sentence such as a detail or how you feel. Don't argue with it or downplay it.

### Why do I feel awkward when people compliment me?

Many people worry that accepting praise sounds arrogant. In fact, a simple thank-you is the polite reply. It shows you valued their kindness.

### Should I compliment someone back right away?

Only if you mean it. An automatic return compliment can feel like a trade. A warm thank-you is enough.

### How do I respond to a compliment at work?

Thank them, credit teammates if it was shared work, and accept your own part: "Thanks, I enjoyed working on it."

### How do I give a compliment that doesn't feel weird?

Make it specific, about something they chose or did, and follow it with a question, such as "Where did you find it?"

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