# What to Do at a Party Where You Don't Know Anyone: First Lines

At a party where you don't know anyone, arrive soon after the start, find the host and ask them to introduce you to one person. Then stand near the food or drinks, approach someone on their own or a pair with an open stance, and open with 'How do you know [the host]?' It works at almost every party.

By the Speaking Coach team at Sodhera Intelligence. Updated 2026-10-22. Source: https://www.orecci.com/speaking-coach/small-talk/party-where-you-know-no-one/

## Arrive early, not late

It's tempting to arrive late so the party is already busy. It's usually harder that way. By 10 p.m., people are in established groups, the music is louder, and there's no gap to step into.

Arrive within the first 30 to 45 minutes. Fewer people are there, newcomers walk in one at a time, and the host still has time to introduce you.

## Your plan for the first 15 minutes

1. **Find the host first.** Say hi, hand over anything you brought, and say something warm.
2. **Ask for one introduction.** "I don't really know anyone. Is there someone you think I'd get on with?" Hosts are usually glad to help.
3. **Get a drink or plate.** Having something in your hand makes standing around feel natural.
4. **Choose your spot** (see below).
5. **Make one approach** within the first ten minutes, before you start overthinking.

If the host is busy, skip step 2 and go straight to the food or drinks. You can still say "How do you know Maya?" to anyone there.

## Where to stand

Some spots make conversations come to you.

| Spot | Why it works |
| --- | --- |
| The kitchen | People come and go; it's where most real conversations happen |
| Near the drinks or snacks | Everyone passes by; easy shared topic |
| Near the host | They'll pull you into conversations as they introduce people |
| By the door to the garden or balcony | Smaller groups, quieter, easier to talk |

Avoid the corner farthest from everything, or the sofa directly in front of the TV. They feel safe but nothing comes to you there.

## Who to approach

Look for people who are easy to join.

- **Someone on their own.** They're probably in the same situation as you and will be glad to talk.
- **A pair standing at an angle,** like a V shape, rather than facing each other directly. That angle leaves room for a third person.
- **Someone doing something,** like pouring drinks, choosing music, or playing with the host's dog. It gives you an easy line.
- **Other newcomers.** People who walk in after you are looking for someone too.

Harder to join: a tight circle of four or five people facing inward, or two people having a quiet, serious chat. Leave those for later, or see [how to join a group conversation](/speaking-coach/small-talk/how-to-join-a-group-conversation/).

## First lines that work at parties

These are example lines. The best ones are about the host, the place, or what's in front of you.

| Situation | First line |
| --- | --- |
| Almost any guest | "How do you know Maya?" |
| By the food | "Have you tried the dumplings? I think they're homemade." |
| By the drinks | "Do you know what's in this punch? I'm a bit scared of it." |
| Someone else on their own | "Hi, I'm Leo. I only know Maya, so I'm making a brave attempt at meeting people." |
| A newcomer at the door | "Hi, I just got here too. I'm Leo, Maya's friend from work." |
| Playing with a pet | "Is this Maya's dog? He's so friendly." |
| The music | "Do you know what this song is? I keep hearing it everywhere." |

"How do you know the host?" is the one to remember. Everyone has an answer, and the answer always leads somewhere: work, school, a sports team, a neighbourhood. From there you can follow up: "Oh, from university? Were you on the same course?"

Being honest about knowing no one also works well. Most people find it relatable, not awkward, and many will introduce you to their friends.

## Keeping it going after the first line

Once they answer, follow up on what they said, then share something small about yourself.

> You: "How do you know Maya?"
> Them: "We used to play five-a-side together."
> You: "Oh, is she good? She's never mentioned football. I work with her, and she's very competitive in meetings, so I'm not surprised."

When there's a lull, bring someone else in: introduce a new arrival to the person you're with. That's what good party guests do, and it takes the pressure off you. For more, see [how to keep a conversation going](/speaking-coach/small-talk/how-to-keep-a-conversation-going/).

## Give yourself a job

If talking without a purpose feels hard, find something to do. Offer to help the host: refill drinks, take coats, pass snacks around. It gives you a reason to talk to everyone ("Can I get you a drink?") and a reason to move on ("I'd better take these round").

## Moving between conversations

Don't feel you have to stay with the first person all night, even if it's going well. After ten or fifteen minutes, it's normal to move on:

> "I'm going to get a refill and say hi to a few more people. Really nice to meet you."

Or bring them with you: "Want to come and meet Maya's sister? She's the one who runs the bakery." More exit lines in [how to end a conversation politely](/speaking-coach/small-talk/how-to-end-a-conversation/).

## Set a time limit

If parties drain you, decide in advance: "I'll stay for an hour and talk to three people." Then leave when you've done that, saying goodbye to the host. Leaving early on a good note beats staying late and miserable. [Small talk for introverts](/speaking-coach/small-talk/small-talk-for-introverts/) has more ways to manage your energy.

## Practice before you go

Say your opening lines out loud on the way there, especially "How do you know the host?" and your one-line answer to "How do you know Maya?" The [small talk drill](/speaking-coach/tools/small-talk-drill/) gives you openers to answer out loud. Speaking Coach's Meet someone new scene lets you practise the first few minutes with an AI partner who answers like a guest would.

## Questions people ask

### What do you say at a party when you don't know anyone?

"How do you know the host?" It's the most reliable first line, because everyone at the party has an answer and it always leads to a story.

### Is it weird to go to a party alone?

No. Many people do. Telling people you only know the host is relatable and often makes them more welcoming.

### How do I approach a group at a party?

Choose a group with an open space in it, stand at the edge, listen, and join in when there's a pause or someone looks at you. Introduce yourself briefly then.

### What if I end up standing alone?

Go back to the food, the drinks or the kitchen, and talk to whoever's there. Or find the host and ask for another introduction.

### How long should I stay at a party where I don't know anyone?

As long as it's going well. Setting a small goal, like an hour and three conversations, makes it easier to go in the first place.

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