# How to Make Small Talk in English as a Non-Native Speaker

Small talk in English follows a small set of patterns: a greeting question that isn't a real question ("How are you?"), a light topic, a follow-up and a friendly exit. Learn a few phrases for each part, plus lines that buy you time or ask someone to repeat. Speak a little slower, not faster, and don't worry about perfect grammar: people care far more about friendliness than accuracy.

By the Speaking Coach team at Sodhera Intelligence. Updated 2026-10-22. Source: https://www.orecci.com/speaking-coach/small-talk/small-talk-in-english/

## Small talk is a pattern, not a test

Small talk in English can feel hard because the words aren't always meant literally. "How are you?" isn't usually a real question. "We should get coffee sometime" may or may not be a real invitation. Once you know the patterns, most small talk becomes predictable, and predictable is easier in a second language.

The good news: native speakers use the same few dozen phrases again and again. You can learn them.

## The greeting: what it means and how to answer

| They say | What it means | Easy answer |
| --- | --- | --- |
| "How are you?" / "How's it going?" | Hello | "Good, thanks. And you?" |
| "What's up?" | Hello (casual) | "Not much. How about you?" |
| "How was your weekend?" | A real question, but short answer is fine | "Really nice, thanks. I went hiking. How was yours?" |
| "Busy day?" | Friendly opener | "Yes, quite busy! Yours?" |
| "Nice to meet you." | First meeting | "Nice to meet you too." |

In many English-speaking workplaces, answering "How are you?" with a long, honest update is unusual. A short positive answer and a question back is the normal pattern.

## Useful phrases for each part of the conversation

**Starting**

> "Hi, I don't think we've met. I'm Kenji."

> "Is this your first time at one of these events?"

**Showing interest**

> "Oh, really? How did you get into that?"

> "That sounds interesting. What's it like?"

**Agreeing and reacting**

> "Me too!" / "Same here."

> "That makes sense."

> "Oh no, that sounds stressful."

**Ending politely**

> "It was really nice talking to you."

> "I'm going to get another coffee. See you later!"

You don't need many phrases. Five or six that feel natural to you are enough for most conversations.

## Lines that buy you time

When you need a moment to find the words, these sound natural, not nervous:

> "Hmm, good question. Let me think."

> "How can I say this…"

> "What's the word… It's like a small restaurant, but only for coffee."

The last one is very useful: if you can't find a word, describe it. Native speakers do this all the time.

## When you don't understand

Asking someone to repeat is completely normal. Be specific about what you missed:

> "Sorry, could you say that again? I missed the last part."

> "Sorry, what does 'swamped' mean?"

> "Do you mean the meeting on Friday?"

Checking with a short question, like the last one, shows you were listening and is often better than "Sorry?" again and again.

## Cultural habits that help

Small talk customs vary between countries, but in many English-speaking settings these are common:

- **Safe topics:** weather, weekends, travel, food, sport, shows, the local area, work in general.
- **Topics to avoid with new people:** salary, age, weight, religion, politics, whether someone is married or has children.
- **Compliments are fine but light:** "I like your jacket" is normal; comments about someone's body are not.
- **Some humour and self-deprecation** are common, especially in the UK and Australia. You don't need to do it, but it helps to recognise it.
- **Indirect phrases:** "Not bad" often means "good". "I'll think about it" can mean "no".

## Speak slower, not faster

Many non-native speakers speed up when nervous, which makes an accent harder to follow. Slowing down slightly, pausing between ideas and finishing each sentence clearly helps more than perfect pronunciation. Conversational English is commonly around 120–160 words per minute; you can check your own speed with the free [pace checker](/speaking-coach/tools/pace-checker/). For more on being understood, see [speaking clearly with an accent](/speaking-coach/guides/speaking-clearly-with-an-accent/).

## Common mistakes and fixes

| Mistake | Why it's a problem | Instead |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Answering in one word | Sounds cold, even when you're not | One word plus one detail: "Good, I went to the beach" |
| Never asking a question back | The other person has to do all the work | "And you?" is enough |
| Apologising for your English | It draws attention away from what you're saying | Just speak; ask for help with a word if needed |
| Translating idioms from your language | Can confuse people | Use plain words |
| Avoiding small talk completely | You miss easy chances to practice | Start with short, predictable moments |

## Practice where it's safe

Short, predictable moments are the best practice: buying coffee, chatting in a lift, saying hello to a neighbour. The [small talk drill](/speaking-coach/tools/small-talk-drill/) lets you answer openers out loud in your browser and shows your pace and filler words. For a full conversation, Speaking Coach works in 20 languages, including English, and never rates your accent; its partner follows up on what you say, so you get used to real back-and-forth, not just phrases.

## Questions people ask

### How can I improve my small talk in English?

Learn a few phrases for greeting, reacting and ending, then use them in short, real moments every day. Practicing out loud matters more than reading lists.

### What should I say when someone asks "How are you?"

"Good, thanks. And you?" It's a greeting more than a question, so a short positive answer and a question back is normal.

### Is it okay to ask people to repeat themselves?

Yes. Be specific: "Sorry, I missed the last part" or "What does that word mean?" People are usually happy to help.

### What topics are safe for small talk in English?

Weather, weekends, travel, food, sport, shows, the local area and work in general. Avoid salary, age, religion and politics with people you've just met.

### Will people judge my accent?

Most people care about being understood and about friendliness, not about accent. Speaking a little slower and clearly helps more than trying to sound native.

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