What to Talk About at a Work Holiday Party (Without Talking Work)
At a work holiday party, use work only as a starting point ("Which team are you on?") and then move to life outside it: holiday plans, traditions, food, travel, hobbies and the year's highlights. Talk to people you don't usually work with, include partners with questions about them rather than about the office, and keep drinks and opinions moderate.
Why "without talking work" matters
At the holiday party you'll be standing next to people you see every day, and the easiest topic is the shared one: the project, the deadline, the reorg. Five minutes of that is fine. An evening of it is tiring, shuts out partners and other teams, and can drift into complaints you'll regret on Monday.
The trick is to use work as the doorway and life as the room.
Openers for each kind of person
| Who | Opener | Where to take it next |
|---|---|---|
| Coworker you know | "Are you doing anything over the break?" | Travel, family traditions, plans |
| Coworker from another team | "I don't think we've properly met. I'm Leo, I'm in finance." | "How long have you been here? What's your team like?" then life outside |
| A coworker's partner | "Hi, I'm Leo. I sit near Emma. What do you do?" | Their work, their interests, how they met |
| Senior leader | "Thanks for tonight. Are you around for the holidays or travelling?" | Plans, the year's highlight, a brief non-work interest |
| New starter | "You joined in October, right? How are you finding it?" | Where they were before, what they enjoy outside work |
Topics beyond work that always work
- Holiday plans: "Are you staying here or heading somewhere?"
- Traditions: "Does your family have a big tradition? Ours involves a very competitive board game."
- Food: "What's the one dish that has to be on the table for you?"
- The year: "What was the best thing you did this year, outside work?"
- Next year: "Anything you're looking forward to in the new year?"
- Hobbies and weekends: "What do you do when you're not here?"
- Recommendations: shows, books, places to eat. Easy, generous and safe.
Keep in mind that not everyone celebrates the same holidays, or has an easy time at this time of year. "Are you doing anything over the break?" works for everyone, while "What are you doing for Christmas?" may not.
Talking to a coworker's partner
Partners often have the hardest evening: they know nobody and the chat is full of names they don't recognise. You'll stand out if you make them comfortable.
- Introduce yourself and say how you know their partner.
- Ask about them: "What do you do?" or "Are you local?"
- Don't drift into office talk with your coworker. If you do, stop and catch them up: "Sorry, boring work stuff. Tell me how you two met."
- Introduce them to someone else before you move on.
Talking to senior people
The party is a rare chance to meet leaders informally. Keep it short and human:
"Thanks for putting this on. It's been a good year for our team."
"Are you taking a proper break over the holidays?"
Then let them lead. Don't pitch an idea, ask for a promotion or raise a complaint. For more, see small talk with senior leaders.
Mistakes people regret on Monday
| Mistake | Why | Instead |
|---|---|---|
| Complaining about a manager or colleague | It gets repeated | Stay positive or neutral about people |
| Drinking well past your usual | Judgement goes first | Alternate with water; eat something |
| Staying all night with your own team | You miss the point of the party | Meet at least two people outside your team |
| Gossiping about who's leaving or who's paid what | Can damage trust | Change the subject: "Anyway, are you away over the break?" |
| Flirting with coworkers | Can make others uncomfortable and cause real problems | Keep it friendly and professional |
| Leaving without thanking the organisers | Feels ungrateful | A quick thanks on the way out |
A simple plan for the evening
- Arrive within the first half hour. It's easier to join small groups early than big ones later.
- Talk to one person you know, to settle in.
- Meet two people you don't, using the openers above.
- Say hello to a senior person if the chance comes up naturally.
- Thank the organisers and leave while you're still enjoying it.
If you're nervous about walking up to groups, read how to join a group conversation before you go. If you've been asked to say a few words, see what to say in a holiday party speech at work.
Practice before the party
Pick two openers and one story about your year that isn't about work, and say them out loud. In the Speaking Coach app, the "Work the room" scene gives you a partner to practice joining and leaving conversations, and you can try it at Gentle, Realistic or Tough pressure.
Questions people ask
What should you not talk about at a work party?
Complaints about colleagues or managers, pay, gossip about who's leaving, politics and anything you'd be uncomfortable hearing repeated on Monday.
How do you avoid talking about work at the office party?
Start with work if you need to, then ask a question about life outside it: holiday plans, traditions, hobbies or the best part of their year.
Do I have to go to the work holiday party?
Usually it's optional, but going for an hour shows goodwill and lets you meet people you rarely see. If you can't go, thank the organisers anyway.
What do I say to my coworker's spouse?
Introduce yourself, say how you know their partner, then ask about them: what they do, where they're from, how they met. Avoid office talk they can't join.
How long should I stay at the office party?
An hour or two is plenty for most people. Stay long enough to talk to a few people, then leave before the evening gets messy.