How long should a best man speech be?

Three to five minutes. Under three can feel thin for the main speech of the night; past five, the room starts looking at the food.

Should I memorise my best man speech?

Memorise the opening line, the order of your stories and the toast. Keep cards for everything else so a blank moment doesn't stop you.

When does the best man give his speech?

It varies by tradition and by couple. The best man often speaks after the groom or the father of the bride, but ask the couple or the planner for the running order.

What if I barely know the partner?

Talk to them, or to their friends, before the wedding. One true detail about how they treat the groom is enough for the turn to the couple.

Can I mention people who have died?

Yes, briefly and only if the couple agrees. One line is enough, placed before the toast rather than in the middle of the jokes.

How to Write a Best Man Speech (With Examples and Timing)

The structure, with timings

The room wants three things from the best man: to laugh a little, to learn something true about the groom, and to feel good about the couple. This order gives them all three.

Part	What it does	Time	Words (approx.)
Opening	Who you are and how you know the groom	20–30 seconds	45–65
Story one	Shows who the groom really is	60–90 seconds	130–200
Story two (optional)	A second side of him, or a light tease	45–60 seconds	100–130
The partner	What changed when they met, and a welcome	45–60 seconds	100–130
To the couple	One sincere wish	20–30 seconds	45–65
The toast	Glasses up, their names	10 seconds	15–20

Word counts assume a relaxed pace of about 130 words per minute, which is where a nervous speaker should aim. To turn your draft into minutes, paste the word count into the speech length calculator.

How to write it, step by step

List ten memories without judging them. Road trips, bad jobs, the first time he mentioned his partner. Write them down in a few words each.
Pick the story only you can tell. The best choice shows a trait his partner also loves: loyalty, stubbornness, terrible cooking with total confidence. Ask yourself whether the partner would nod while hearing it.
Tell it as a scene, not a summary. "He's always been loyal" is a claim. "He drove four hours through the night to pick me up from a bus station in Leeds, then pretended he was 'in the area'" is a story.
Write the turn. One or two lines that move from the groom to the couple: "For years I thought nothing could surprise me about Dan. Then he met Maya."
Write the toast last. Short and plain. "Please raise your glasses to Dan and Maya."
Cut. Read it aloud with a timer. If it's over five minutes, cut the second story before you cut anything about the couple.

The jokes line: what stays and what goes

A best man speech is allowed to tease, but the groom should laugh too. Run every joke through these four tests before it stays in.

Test	Ask yourself	If it fails
The grandmother test	Would I say this with his grandmother in the front row?	Cut it
The partner test	Does it make the partner look bad, or doubt the marriage?	Cut it
The explanation test	Does the room need background to get it?	It's an inside joke; cut it
The stag test	Did it happen at the stag or bachelor party?	It stays there

Safe targets: his sense of direction, his fantasy football team, his ancient car, his belief that he can dance. Off-limits: exes, money, the partner's family, how much anyone drinks, and anything about the wedding night.

If you're not naturally funny, don't force it. One warm, specific story beats five borrowed one-liners from the internet, and guests can tell when a joke was downloaded.

Example best man speech (about 3 and a half minutes)

This is a made-up example to show the shape. Swap in your own names and stories.

"Good evening, everyone. For those I haven't met, I'm Sam. Dan and I have been friends since we were eleven, when he sat next to me in maths and copied my answers. They were wrong. He's been loyal to me ever since.

If you want to know who Dan is, here's one night that sums him up. Six years ago my car broke down outside Leeds at two in the morning. I called Dan mostly to complain. An hour later he texted, 'Which bus station?' He'd driven four hours. When I thanked him, he said he 'was in the area anyway.' He lives in Bristol.

That's Dan. He'll turn up, and he'll pretend it was nothing.

For years I thought nothing about him could surprise me. Then he met Maya. Suddenly the man who owned one fork had a cutlery drawer. He started reading restaurant reviews. He started saying 'we' about weekends. Maya, you've done what none of us managed: you got him to plan ahead. Welcome to the family. We're sorry about the fork.

Dan, Maya: I hope you always turn up for each other the way Dan turned up for me that night, without being asked.

Please raise your glasses. To Dan and Maya."

If you're the groom's brother

You have two advantages: childhood stories and the family's trust. Use one story from when you were kids, and one from adult life, so the room sees how he grew up. Add a short line for your parents if it fits ("Mum and Dad, you did all right"). Keep sibling rivalry light; the guests don't know your history, so an old grudge can sound real.

Delivering it on the day

Use cards, not your phone. Large print, one card per section, numbered. Phones lock, glare and look like you're checking messages.
Two drinks at most before you speak. The speech you rehearsed sober is the one that works.
Pause after the punchline. Wait for the laugh before you start the next line. Rushing through the laugh is the most common way to kill a good joke.
Look at the room for the jokes and at the couple for the sincere part.
Hold the microphone close and still, a fist's width from your mouth.

Rehearse standing up, with a glass in your hand, at least five times. If you want a listener who isn't the groom, you can say the speech to Speaking Coach in the app and see your pace, filler words and long pauses afterwards. Our guide to practising a speech has a full rehearsal plan.