What should I say first at speed dating?

A warm hello and your name, then an easy open question such as "What's been the best part of your week?" Skip the clever line.

How many questions should I prepare?

Two or three good open questions and one playful one are enough. Most of the round should be follow-ups to what they say.

Is it okay to ask what someone does for work?

Yes, but ask about the best and worst parts, not just the title. That gives you something real to talk about.

What if there's an awkward silence in my round?

Ask about something they mentioned earlier, or use your playful question. A short pause is normal; you don't need to fill every second.

How do I remember everyone after eight rounds?

Write each person's name and one detail on your card or phone straight after the round.

What to Say at Speed Dating: Questions for 3-5 Minute Dates

What a few minutes is actually for

Most speed-dating rounds run somewhere between three and five minutes. That is not enough to learn someone's life story, and trying to is what makes so many rounds feel like a job interview: "What do you do? Where are you from? Do you have siblings?" By round six, everyone is giving the same answers on autopilot.

The real question each round is simpler: would I enjoy a longer conversation with this person? You find that out from how they talk, what lights them up, and whether the back-and-forth feels easy. Choose questions that show you that.

A minute-by-minute plan for a four-minute round

Time	What to do	Example
0:00–0:20	Warm hello and name	"Hi, I'm Dev. How's your night going so far?"
0:20–1:30	One question that invites a story	"What's been the best part of your week?"
1:30–3:00	Follow their most interesting detail, share yours	"Wait, you're learning the cello? What made you start?"
3:00–3:40	One lighter or playful question	"Mountains or beach for a holiday?"
3:40–4:00	Close warmly	"That was fun. Good luck with the cello recital."

For a three-minute round, drop the playful question. For five minutes, give the follow-up section more time. Don't fill every second; one good thread beats five topics.

Openers that start faster than "So, what do you do?"

You don't need a clever line. You need one that lets them talk about something they enjoy:

"What's been the highlight of your week?"
"What made you come tonight?" (honest and often funny)
"What are you looking forward to at the moment?"
"How many rounds in are you? Has anyone asked you something good yet?"
"What's something you've got really into recently?"

If they ask "What do you do?" first, answer with a hook rather than a title. The what do you do guide has examples, and the shape works well under time pressure.

Questions that reveal more than small talk

These are open questions that ask for a story or an opinion, not a fact. Pick two or three you like and keep them ready.

Instead of	Ask	What you learn
"What do you do?"	"What's the best part of your job, and the worst?"	What they value, and whether they can laugh about work
"Where are you from?"	"What do you miss most about where you grew up?"	Family, roots, what matters to them
"Do you like travelling?"	"What's the best place you've been that most people haven't?"	Curiosity, how they tell a story
"What are your hobbies?"	"What could you talk about for an hour without getting bored?"	Real enthusiasm
"Are you a morning person?"	"What does a really good Sunday look like for you?"	Lifestyle fit
"Do you like your friends?"	"What would your friends say you're always the one to do?"	How they see themselves

Then follow up. The question is only the door; the follow-up ("What made you choose that?" "How did that go?") is where you actually learn something.

Lighter questions for the last minute

A quick playful question changes the energy and gives you something to remember them by:

"What's your most unpopular food opinion?"
"What's a skill you'd love to have overnight?"
"Which would you pick: a year without music or a year without films?"
"What's the last thing that made you laugh properly?"

Use one, not a quiz. A string of quick-fire questions feels like a game show.

The other person is also deciding whether they'd enjoy talking to you. Make it easy for them:

Answer your own question briefly after they do. "Mine's walking the coast path near my mum's."
Give a detail, not a list. "I teach Year 5, and this week a kid asked me if I lived at school" beats "I'm a teacher, I like hiking, reading and travel."
Let your face show what you enjoy. You don't need to be loud. Just talk about something you actually care about.

What to skip in a short round

Skip	Why
Exes and past relationships	Heavy, and it eats the round
"Why are you single?"	Puts them on the defensive
Salaries, house prices, career rank	Feels like screening, not chatting
A long monologue about your job	Uses their time, tells them little
Checking your phone or the clock	They notice instantly
Complaining about the event	Sets a flat tone

Ending each round well

When the bell or signal goes, close cleanly. The close is the last impression they have before marking their card:

"I really enjoyed that. Good luck with the half-marathon."

"Thanks, that was the best question anyone's asked me tonight."

Then, if the event uses cards or an app, make a note straight away: their name and one detail. After eight rounds, they blur.

If you match and meet again, the next conversation has more room. The first date guide picks up from there.

Practising a few rounds before the night

Speed dating rewards being relaxed in the first 20 seconds, which is the hardest part when you're nervous. Running a couple of practice rounds out loud helps. In the Speaking Coach app, the "First date" scene gives you a partner who plays the other person and responds to what you say, and you can choose a Gentle or Realistic pressure level. Afterwards you see your pace and filler words, which is useful if nerves make you speed up.