What do you say at the start of a coffee chat?

Thank them, make a little small talk, then give a 30-second intro: who you are, what you're exploring, and why you wanted to talk to them.

How long should an informational coffee chat be?

Usually 15 to 30 minutes. Agree the length when you ask, and end on time.

Is it okay to ask for a referral in a coffee chat?

Not as your first ask. Ask for advice and for other people to talk to. If the chat goes well, they may offer a referral themselves.

Who pays for the coffee?

You asked, so offer to pay. If it's a video call, simply thank them for their time.

What should I send after the coffee chat?

A short thank-you within a day that names one piece of advice you found useful. Update them later if you act on it.

What to Say in a Coffee Chat or Informational Interview

What a coffee chat is, and isn't

A coffee chat (often called an informational interview) is a short conversation, usually 15 to 30 minutes, with someone in a job, field or company you want to learn about. It's not a job interview, and it's not the moment to ask for a job. You're asking for their experience and advice.

That difference shapes everything you say. If they feel you're there to learn, they relax and share more. If they feel you're angling for a referral from the first minute, they get guarded. For background on the format, see what an informational interview is.

A 20-minute plan

Time	What to do
0–2 min	Thanks and a little small talk
2–3 min	Your 30-second intro and why you reached out
3–16 min	Your questions, with follow-ups
16–18 min	The ask
18–20 min	Thanks, and finish on time

Watch the clock. Ending on time, or offering to, is one of the strongest signals that you respect them.

Opening: thanks, then your 30-second intro

Start with genuine thanks and a bit of easy small talk, then get to the point. Your intro answers three questions: who you are, what you're exploring, and why them.

Example intro for a career changer:

"Thanks so much for making time. I know you're busy. Quick background: I've taught secondary maths for six years and I'm exploring a move into UX research. I've done a couple of courses and one small project, but I'd love to understand what the job is really like day to day. Your path from teaching caught my eye on LinkedIn, so you were the first person I wanted to ask."

Example intro for a student:

"Thanks for meeting me. I'm in my final year studying economics, and I'm trying to decide between consulting and working in-house in strategy. You've done both, so I'd love to hear how they compare."

Keep it to about 30 seconds, roughly 70 to 90 words. Practise it out loud; it's the part people ramble on most.

Questions to ask

Pick four or five. Specific questions get specific answers, and they show you did your homework.

About their path

"How did you get from [their earlier role] into this one?"
"What did you wish you'd known when you started?"
"Looking back, what helped you most in getting your first role?"

About the work itself

"What does a typical week actually look like?"
"What's the part of the job people outside the field misunderstand?"
"What do you enjoy most, and what drains you?"
"What separates people who do really well in this role?"

About getting in

"For someone with my background, what would you focus on first?"
"Which skills or experience do hiring managers here look for that aren't obvious from job posts?"
"Is there anything on my background that would worry you if you were hiring?"

The last question takes nerve, but it often gives you the most useful answer of the whole chat.

Questions to avoid

Avoid	Why	Instead
"So what do you do?"	You should know already	"I read about your move to the platform team. What drove that?"
"Can you get me a job?"	Too much, too soon	"Is there anyone else you'd suggest I talk to?"
"How much do you earn?"	Personal	"What's a realistic salary range for entry roles in this field?"
Questions answered on the company's website	Shows no preparation	Ask what the website can't tell you

Listening and following up in the moment

The best part of a coffee chat is usually your follow-ups, not your list. When they say something interesting, go deeper:

"You said stakeholder management was the hardest part. Can you give me an example?"
"What made you decide to leave agency work?"
"That's useful. How would you suggest I get that experience?"

Take brief notes if it's natural, especially names, books or courses they mention. Ask "Do you mind if I jot that down?" the first time.

Making the ask

Near the end, make one small ask. The easiest is a referral to someone else:

"This has been really helpful. Is there anyone else you think I should talk to?"

Other good asks:

"Would you be open to me sending you my portfolio for one piece of feedback?"
"If a role opens up on your team, would it be okay to let you know I've applied?"

If they offer more (an introduction, a referral), accept warmly. If they don't, that's fine. The conversation was the point.

Closing and following up

Finish on time: "I want to respect your time. I know we said 20 minutes." Thank them specifically: "The advice about building one real case study is exactly what I needed."

Then, within 24 hours, send a short thank-you message that mentions something they said. If you act on their advice, tell them later: "I took your advice and joined the local UX meetup. Thanks again." That message is what turns one coffee into a lasting contact.

Mistakes to avoid

Mistake	Why it hurts	Try instead
A five-minute life story to start	Uses up their time	30-second intro, then questions
No questions prepared	They have to run the meeting	Bring five, use three or four
Asking for a job directly	Puts them on the spot	Ask for advice and other contacts
Running over time	Feels disrespectful	Offer to stop at the agreed time
No follow-up	They forget you	Thank-you within 24 hours

Practise before the real one

Your 30-second intro and your first question set the tone, so it helps to say them aloud a few times. In the Speaking Coach app you can describe the chat, for example "a 20-minute coffee chat with a product manager", and the partner plays them and follows up on what you say. If you're changing careers, the why do you want to change careers page helps you tighten the story behind your intro.