How to Write a Eulogy for a Grandparent (Grandma or Grandpa)
A eulogy for a grandparent works best when you speak as a grandchild: share what they were like with you, one or two stories from their long life that the family loves, and what they passed down through the generations. Keep it to three to five minutes and don't try to cover every decade.
The grandchild's view is your strength
You may be asked to speak because you're the eldest grandchild, the one who writes well, or the one who was closest. You might worry you don't know enough about their whole life. You don't need to. Your children, aunts and uncles knew them as a parent. The grandchildren knew a different person: often softer, funnier, more patient. That's what the room wants to hear from you.
For the general approach to any eulogy, see how to write a eulogy. This page covers what's particular about a grandparent.
The challenge: eighty or ninety years in five minutes
A grandparent's life might include a war, a migration, a business, a farm, six children and thirty grandchildren. You can't tell all of it, and you shouldn't try. Choose:
- One fact from their early life that people may not know, to show who they were before they were Grandma or Grandpa.
- One or two stories with you, the grandchild.
- One thing they passed down that runs through the generations in the room.
If someone else, such as a parent or the officiant, is covering the life story, you can skip the early life and focus on your relationship.
A structure that works
| Part | What it does | Time |
|---|---|---|
| Who you are | "I'm Emma, Rose's granddaughter, Ann's daughter." | 10 seconds |
| A glimpse of their early life | One detail that surprises the younger people in the room | 30 to 45 seconds |
| What they were like as a grandparent | Habits, sayings, their kitchen, their garden, their car | 60 seconds |
| A story | One moment with you, told with detail | 60 to 90 seconds |
| What they passed down | What the family still does because of them | 30 to 45 seconds |
| Goodbye | A last line addressed to them, or to the room | 15 seconds |
That adds up to about four minutes, or roughly 500 words at a gentle pace. Use the speech length calculator to check. Funerals often have several speakers, so ask how long you have.
Example eulogy: for a grandmother (about 4 minutes)
This is a made-up example. Use your own family's memories and words.
"I'm Emma, Rose's eldest granddaughter. Most of you knew her as Mum, or Rose, or Mrs. Kelly from the post office. To eleven of us, she was Nana.
Some of you might not know that Nana left school at fourteen and ran a market stall on her own by sixteen. She could add up a column of prices faster than anyone with a calculator. She never lost that. When I was ten she was still checking the supermarket receipt before we left the car park, and she found an error every time.
At Nana's house there were rules. Shoes off. Biscuits only after you'd said hello properly. And no one left without being asked, 'Have you eaten?' Even if you'd just had dinner at her table.
When I was fifteen, I failed my first maths exam and was too ashamed to tell my parents. I went to Nana's. She didn't say a word about the exam. She put the kettle on, got out a pack of cards and taught me to play rummy, adding up the scores in her head. After an hour she said, 'You're not bad at numbers. You're bad at being frightened of them.' I passed the resit. I'm an accountant now. I think she knew that would happen.
What she passed down is in this room. It's in the way my mum asks everyone if they've eaten. It's in my cousins' card games every Christmas. It's in my little boy, who already checks receipts.
Nana, thank you for the biscuits, and the rummy, and for never once letting us leave hungry. We'll keep asking."
Example opening and closing lines
These are made-up lines you can adapt.
Openings:
"My grandfather taught me three things: how to tie a fishing knot, how to lose at chess gracefully, and how to tell a story slowly. I'll try to do the third one now."
"Grandpa lived for ninety-three years, and I knew him for twenty-six of them. Here's what those years were like."
Closings:
"Grandpa, we'll keep the knots tight."
"If you want to honour her today, call someone you haven't called in a while and ask if they've eaten."
How to gather material
- Ask your parents, aunts and uncles one question each: "What's one story about her that you'd want told?"
- Ask your cousins: "What do you remember about her house?" Grandchildren's memories overlap in lovely ways.
- Look for sayings. A phrase they repeated is often the heart of a eulogy.
- Check facts with the family. Dates, places and names of relatives matter to the people listening.
Delivering it
- Print it in large type, double-spaced, and mark where to pause.
- Read it aloud at least three times before the funeral. The first time is usually the hardest emotionally.
- Slow down. Grief makes people rush. A gentle pace, with pauses after the important lines, gives the room time to feel it. See how to use pauses.
- Have a backup. Tell a parent or cousin where your printout is. If you can't continue, they can read the rest. That's completely acceptable.
Mistakes to avoid
| Mistake | Why it hurts | Instead |
|---|---|---|
| Reading their life like an obituary | Dates and places don't bring them back | One early-life detail, then stories |
| Speaking only about yourself | Other grandchildren and children are grieving too | Include "we" moments, like holidays everyone remembers |
| Leaving out a branch of the family | People notice and remember | Mention the generations as groups |
| Smoothing over who they were | People knew if they were stubborn or sharp | Gentle honesty, told with love, rings true |
| Going on too long | Other speakers and the service are waiting | Four minutes, then stop |
Questions people ask
How long should a eulogy for a grandparent be?
Three to five minutes, or about 400 to 650 words. Ask the family or the officiant how much time you have, especially if there are several speakers.
Is it okay to include funny stories?
Yes. Grandparents often had a sense of humour that the whole family remembers, and laughter at a funeral is a relief. Balance it with at least one sincere moment.
What if I wasn't very close to my grandparent?
Talk about what you did know: their house, their habits, what your parent told you about them. You can also share a story from another relative, saying who told it to you.
Can grandchildren give a joint eulogy?
Yes. Each person tells one short memory, and one person opens and closes. Agree on the order and total time in advance.
What if I cry while giving the eulogy?
Pause, breathe, take a sip of water and continue. Everyone in the room understands. If you can't go on, hand your copy to the person you arranged as a backup.